Gameweek 3 Hall of Shame: the blanks, the cameos, and the captain who cost you

The awards nobody wants

Gameweek 3 is in the books, the damage is priced in, and it is now safe to laugh about it.

Every award below is a real lookup against the round's data. Nothing here is invented, which is the part that stings.

🪦 The Golden Blank

B.Fernandes, £12.0m, 90 minutes, 2 points. He was owned by 47.1% of the game going in, so at least the disappointment was catered.

🧢 The Armband Tax

The field captained Haaland and, for once, the field was right: 9 became 18. Enjoy it. This award is not usually a compliment.

🃏 The One You Did Not Own

Bogle (£4.5m) scored 14 while owned by 1.2% of managers. The other 98.8% are currently explaining to themselves that they would never have started him, which is true, and beside the point.

⏱️ Cameo of the Week

Maitland-Niles was on the pitch for 13 minutes and came off it with 7 points. Efficiency of that order should be studied, or at least owned.

💰 Best Value on the Board

Mitchell at £4.5m returned 15 — 3.3 points per million. Premium ownership is a lifestyle choice and this is the invoice.

🎯 Mugged by the Woodwork

0.97 xGI, zero returns: Bobb did everything but the last bit. Historically the last bit arrives. Historically it arrives the week after you sell him.

For the record

The average manager scored 51, the best score in the game was 119, and the gap between them was 68 points — roughly a captain, a bench and a small amount of luck.