Gameweek 8 Hall of Shame: the blanks, the cameos, and the captain who cost you
The awards nobody wants from Gameweek 8, starting with Palmer. Every one of them a real number, which is the problem.
The awards nobody wants
The serious write-up of Gameweek 8 is elsewhere on this desk. This is the other one: the same numbers, read for entertainment rather than instruction.
Every award below is a real lookup against the round's data. Nothing here is invented, which is the part that stings.
The Golden Blank
£9.8m buys a lot of things. On this occasion it bought 79 minutes of Palmer and -1 points, which 27.6% of you had budgeted for rather differently.
The Armband Tax
Haaland was the popular armband and returned 8 points, which the armband turned into 16. A rare week where the crowd and the scoreboard agreed.
The One You Did Not Own
11 points from Tel, owned by 0.3%. Somewhere a very small number of people are having their best Saturday of the season and telling absolutely everybody.
Cameo of the Week
1 minutes of Longstaff, 1 point. Blink and you would have missed it, which several of his owners did, deliberately.
Best Value on the Board
Konsa, £4.7m, 14 points, 3.0 per million. Quietly the most sensible thing that happened all weekend.
Mugged by the Woodwork
Gibbs-White generated 0.93 expected goal involvements and converted precisely none of them. The underlying numbers liked him a great deal more than the scoreboard did, which is either a buy signal or a warning depending on how your season is going.
For the record
The average manager scored 45, the best score in the game was 120, and the gap between them was 75 points — roughly a captain, a bench and a small amount of luck.