Gameweek 9 Hall of Shame: the blanks, the cameos, and the captain who cost you
The awards nobody wants from Gameweek 9, starting with Haaland. Every one of them a real number, which is the problem.
The awards nobody wants
Every gameweek produces a handful of moments that are only funny once they cannot hurt you any more. Gameweek 9 has finished, so here they are.
Every award below is a real lookup against the round's data. Nothing here is invented, which is the part that stings.
The Golden Blank
Haaland, £15.8m, 90 minutes, 2 points. He was owned by 79% of the game going in, so at least the disappointment was catered.
The Armband Tax
The game captained Haaland. He returned 2 points, which doubled to 4. Doubling a small number remains one of the great disappointments available to a person on a Saturday.
The One You Did Not Own
McBurnie (£5.5m) scored 12 while owned by 1.7% of managers. The other 98.3% are currently explaining to themselves that they would never have started him, which is true, and beside the point.
Cameo of the Week
Adli was on the pitch for 2 minutes and came off it with 8 points. Efficiency of that order should be studied, or at least owned.
Best Value on the Board
Van Hecke at £5.0m returned 15 — 3.0 points per million. Premium ownership is a lifestyle choice and this is the invoice.
Mugged by the Woodwork
0.89 xGI, zero returns: McGinn did everything but the last bit. Historically the last bit arrives. Historically it arrives the week after you sell him.
For the record
The average manager scored 47, the best score in the game was 122, and the gap between them was 75 points — roughly a captain, a bench and a small amount of luck.